Welcome to the Pod Club, Teen Vogue's review of Realm's latest podcast, “If I Go Missing the Witches Did It.”
Time flies when you’re having fun, and now we’re smack in the middle of “If I Go Missing the Witches Did It.” So far, we’ve seen many different types of magic sizzling among the affluent witches who are tormenting Jenna. (Missed our first recap? Head here.)
Episode 4 adds even more magic and witchiness to the mix, and only heightens the mystery of what happened to Jenna. After listening to Episode 4, I still can’t decide if I think Jenna went missing because she ran away or if the witches did do something bad to her, but I have some theories: Maybe it’s just me, but I’m convinced she was transported to another realm — I always want to believe that portals exist and people can easily be moved to them. I know they exist, but it’s not so easy to find the intersectional loop…. Ugh, I’m starting to ramble on like Elise. Mostly, I’m starting to become convinced that the witches banished Jenna from their town because she’s on to them. If the secret came out that these beauty, fashion, and cooking social media influencers were actually witches, it would be bad for businesses.
The concept of race, women, and magic are further raised in episode 4. Brooke says that the hatred of witches was created to rob women of their power, and she’s right on the money. We can blame the patriarchy for that obnoxious claim that’s stuck for centuries. Contrary to popular belief, witches aren’t out to kill children and men. Witches are people who are connected to the natural rhythms and energy of the universe. They use that power to attain desires and goals — mostly to make the world a better place. We have this within us, some people are just more open than others. There is a little witch in all of us, which Jenna comes to learn.
And, Elise continues her white savior journey, fetishizing Brooke and leaning on stereotypes in her misguided search for Jenna.
As usual, the magic in this episode is strong and correct. It is clear that the podcast’s writer, Pia Wilson, knows her spells, magic, and antidotes. I couldn’t have dreamed about a more genuine telling of the genre. Here is a rundown of my favorite magical moments in the podcast:
The Power of a Coven
A coven is a group of witches who join forces in order to become more powerful. When a witch practices magic with others, their energy is heightened and the vibration brought into the world can be felt on a more direct level. This is why witches like to cast spells in numbers — it is energy magnified. The bond between coven members is deep and not easily broken. Therefore, trust and alliances are essential. It’s no wonder why the women who are in the so-called coven stick together socially and privately. It’s a sisterhood.
Sex Magic
This episode starts off with sex magic and the ability to bring dreams to life through intention-setting orgasms. Jenna catches “The Four Goddesses” of ultra-rich Bedford, New York using sex magic to manifest their dreams — all of which are self-satisfying and on brand for their upper crust lifestyle and influencer status. While Jenna feels sly about catching the women in a vulnerable position, she’s intrigued. In her log entry from July 12th, Jenna divulges that she tries sex magic for herself — and says she’s “getting used to the concept of magic.” Clearly she is!
Color Magic
When Elise sees the red garter belt at Brooke’s house, it puts her in an intoxicating and sensual spiral that makes her desperately want to kiss Brooke. It’s not the garter belt itself, rather the color of the garter belt. Red is known to be a power color, used for creativity and boosting one’s sexual desires. It is often used in color magic to make someone feel sexually inclined toward another, giving them the confidence to step up and make a move towards expressing their desires — which Elise nearly does.
Glamour Spells
Glamour spells are a form of magic in which we are able to not only bring out our inner confidence, but make people have positive and romantic feelings toward us. This enchantment can be done a multitude of ways, but it appears that they’re doing their own brand of spellcasting because it’s working fast — within minutes. When Jenna confronts Dr. Hagar about the confrontation at brunch with Carmen, Dr. Hagar only has amazing things to say about how beautiful and wonderful Carmen is. Jenna says she seems off. Another time we encounter glamour spells is when Elise starts having sexual fantasies about Brooke. Obviously, something seems off. We can almost definitely blame the coven of Bedford for it.
The Power of Sound
The sound of chimes brings Jenna into a metaphysical store. She is able to locate the store because her ears are responding to the sound of chimes. Magically, sound is used to manifest. However, sound magic can be a way for spirits to give you a heads up. They can’t communicate with words, but their energy can blow wind on the chimes to make sounds that bring us information from them. In this case, Jenna’s spirit guides seemingly want her to take note of the store as a source of help and protection from the witches. Perhaps the ghost of Colonial Jenna led her there.
Gossip Stopper Spells
Jenna uses a gossip stopper spell on Victor, which begins to work in Episode 4. Gossip stopper candles, crystals, intention setting, and color magic are some of the many witchy techniques used to stop rumors from being told. Sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands to create peace and harmony. Therefore, it’s totally cool that Jenna does this to maintain chill vibes with Victor — and stops him from spilling tea.
Protection Magic
Jenna heads into a local occult store to buy a blank tourmaline stone, thinking it’ll protect her around witches. But, the salesperson at the metaphysical shop scoffs in her face, stating that it won’t protect her from the power of real witches. This is partly true — it just depends on the spell, hex, and amount of power that’s being used against you. In my experience, black tourmaline is a great stone for protection work. Placing the stone in the entrance way of the home can ward off evil vibes. Using a white or black candle for protection magic or to reverse a spell, to bounce the energy back to the sender. Black salt is also good to put around the perimeter of the home and windows to repel any negative or uninvited energy into the space. Most importantly, doing a weekly cleansing and clearing of energy by burning lavender, taking Epsom salt baths, and mirror magic.
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